Sunday, November 27, 2011

Sacristan of the Devil.

After witnessing a priest being murdered with a pointy silver & gold crucifix, little Pedro swears in the House of God that he will kill the assassins and all sinners in town. Years later, Pedro grows up. He helps around at a new church, and dresses up as a Sacristan at night to kill sinners with that old silver & gold crucifix. People around town are being killed by this fake Sacristan. The cops search hard for clues leading to the identity of the killer Sacristan.

El Sacristan Del Diablo (aka "Sacristan of the Devil") is such a silly film. First of all, we're to believe Pedro is just some psycho, but then near the end of the movie he seems to be possessed by the devil. It doesn't make any sense but oh well. Then there's Jorge Luke.... He wears a fake mustache in this movie. In order to catch the killer, he dresses up as a homeless dude with a mustache. The mustache looks real and now I believe he wears this fake mustache in other movies. I'm so disappointed with Luke now..  Then there's the sex scene. It's just plain awful. The music playing during the fucking is repetitive. The only thing we really see are hands caressing a back and an awkward man chest camera zoom. Just awful!

Unlike Goodnight God Bess, we actually see the religious psycho killing! They're great scenes too. Best part about this movie is when Jorge Luke screams and yells after his partner dies in his arms. It is so damn hilarious! Luke just can't fake yell In pain. If Sebastian Ligarde wasn't in this movie, then it would be an awful movie. He definitely knows how to play a psycho/demon in movies. Sacristan Del Diablo is a cool movie to watch at night. If you plan on watching it, please skip the sex scene. That part is a big fucking waste of time. Now the part before the sex scene, where red headed Eva Garbo changes clothes... Wowza! That part is a must see! 5/10.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

A Whore Executioner.

You know what sucks? When you're a cop and your partner is some jerk you can't stand. You know what sucks more than that though? When you get super fucking drunk, pick up a hooker, wake up without her, then finding out she was brutally killed and now you think you killed her. Man, that fucking sucks big time! That is exactly what happens to Guillermo Quintanilla in Verdugo De Callejeras.

Verdugo De Callejeras ( aka "Whore Executioner" aka "Suenos Sangrientos" aka "Bloody Nightmares") starts off horribly. By horribly I mean bad. By bad I mean disturbing. We see a couple of little boys looking at their whore mother making out with an awful man. One boy cries his eyes out, the other boy just stares in shock. The mom being trashy and cruel, grabs a pair of panties and sticks them in the crying boy's mouth. Pretty fucked up shit, huh?

Then after that, it cuts to the present time. The boy with the panties in his mouth (named Marcos) is now a cop with a terrible drinking problem. He's also partners with Jorge Luke. They both hate each other but they still manage to work together. After drinking a lot in a night club that plays terrible 90's music, Marcos gets a hooker to come home with him for fun and fucking. In the morning, he wakes up hungovered and sees the hooker gone. Not caring much for that, he goes to work late and is sent out to a vacant lot to investigate a dead body that was found there. Obviously, the dead body in the vacant lot is the hooker that Marcos was with last night. So now he thinks he killed the hooker even though he has no memory of doing it. From there, it happens again and again. Marcos decides to do something about it by having his lovely new partner Gabriela (Felicia Mercado) help him out by getting him drunk and spend the night with him to see what he does. This is the only way to find out if he really is a Whore Executioner!

As soon as I saw the panties in the little boy's mouth, I knew this was gonna be ugly & trashy. Enjoyable too. I love the cast, I love the characters, and I love the twist. It was thrown in poorly, but man! It still shocked me (sorta). Jorge Luke's character in the movie is so entertaining. If he's not fighting with Marcos, then he's shooting a blank bullet into a criminal's mouth. That made me laugh so hard. Guillermo Quintanilla does a swell job in this movie. if he's not beating up his wife or drinking blood, then he's getting horribly drunk and arguing with Jorge Luke in a pick-up truck. What a fantastic actor he is. God Bless Guillermo.

Poorly Made. Action Packed. Ugly. Trashy. Verdugo De Callajeras succeeded at keeping me entertained from start to finish. I highly recommend it. 8/10.