Juan Valentin is a jerk! In Los Funerales Del Terror.

Have you ever known an individual that you just loathed so much because they’re so awful? An individual that is so selfish, rude, obnoxious and just plain evil in general? Well that's basically what Los Funerales Del Terror (aka "Funerals Of Terror") is about. This movie is about an individual that you immediately loathe because he’s a complete fucking jerk.


It’s late at night and an earthquake has just hit Mexico. A cop named Joel (Juan Valentin) and a prostitute try to leave their hotel room, but for whatever reason Joel’s body freezes and drops. With no signs of life in him whatsoever: Joel is thought to be dead, but he’s actually still alive! He just can’t move any muscle whatsoever and has no sign of a heartbeat either. With only his eyes opened wide, we hear Joel internally saying “I’m alive!” & “I’m alive dammit!”, then proceeds to reflect on his life as his body is prepared for burial. As it turns out, our man Joel was a complete jerk since he was a dirty cop who drank too much, tortured suspects, causes a young cop to lose a leg, steals his partner’s girlfriend and marries her, then that marriage becomes a disaster because he’s very mean to his wife and kids. Joel even kicks out his mother in law out of his home! Joel is a fucking jerk. As he lays in his coffin, Joel hopes for revival & promises to be better. Will he be given that chance though?


Los Funerales Del Terror reminded me of something I’ve seen before, but for whatever reason I just cannot remember what it is. It could of been an older movie or some TV show episode, but I just don’t remember sadly. Either way though, this was a mildly entertaining watch. Very dramatic & very unusual as well. We spend almost an hour & a half watching Juan Valentin laying down with his eyes wide open as his character’s story unfolds & the people in his life attend his wake & funeral. Practically everyone in the wake & funeral hate Joel by the way.

Juan Valentin played Joel very well. Juan Valentin had the talent in playing any type of character, including one of the biggest jerks ever to live. I also can’t forget to mention Juan Valentin sings in the movie of course! It's not a Juan Valentin movie without a little singing, right? He sings one song in the movie and that same song plays at the end of the movie with a sort of recap of the entire movie. Amazing, right? That one song that plays is called “Arboles De La Barranca” by the way.


Los Funerales Del Terror is a movie that will not be so memorable or epic, but regardless it’s a fun little watch. It pretty much plays out like an old Twilight Zone or One Step Beyond episode with a sort of lesson to be learned at the end. In this case being don’t be such a fucking jerk to everyone around you. 5/10. 

Sadistic Love.

Hector (Guillermo Quintanilla) and Elizabeth (Rocio Visseti) have just gotten married. They're on their honeymoon now and that means they're gonna make passionate love together. When the loving begins, Hector finds out that Elizabeth is not a virgin. He's pissed off because she lied to him saying she was. Instead of reasoning with her; Hector beats her to a damn right bloody pulp. As the weeks go by, the marriage is shit because Hector is physically & verbally abusing Elizabeth every day and he's also cheating on her with prostitutes. Hector also abuses the prostitutes. He beats one up, then burns her vagina with a lighter. Pretty sadistic, huh? Hector then tries to get Elizabeth to "prove" her devotion to him by setting up a threesome with a prostitute. That of course doesn't go well and Elizabeth is beaten up when she doesn't cooperate. Elizabeth then leaves the unhappy & horrific home she has shared with her brutal husband and stays with an old loving boyfriend (El Puma De Sinaloa). When Hector finds out of this, he comes out of hiding to kill the boyfriend and perhaps even Elizabeth as well.


Despite the cheap punching sound effects going along the brutal scenes of abuse & torture; Sadico Amor (aka "Sadistic Love") is kind of a brutal watch. Guillermo Quintanilla plays the role of Hector very well since he's has a villainous personality & all. His facial expressions of rage & agony are pretty damn great I must say. Rocio Visseti plays the victim of abuse Elizabeth and she plays her role pretty darn good since she appears so helpless & sad. Jorge Reynoso play Hector's friend & cop partner who tries to make sense of Hector and tries to help Elizabeth as well.

Sadico Amor is an intriguing & down right brutal little movie. I feel the movie was made as a way to bring the topic of domestic violence & abuse to light (in those times at least); but it's more than likely just a videohome made for brutal entertainment and using this hard topic to tell a different kind of story. Interesting nonetheless. Director Jorge Araujo made a solid movie here. It's a must see for sure and to make it more interesting, watch it along with another Araujo movie entitled Fotografiando A La Muerte which also features a violent & crazy Guillermo Quintanilla character. 7/10.