Thursday, December 5, 2019

Ahi Viene El Chupacabras! 6 movies about a fake as hell/blood-sucking/perverted monster from the mid-90’s.

Puerto Rico, March of 1995: The Chupacabras was born. Or first seen that is. It seems several sheep’s were drained of their blood and goats especially. It seems this creature (or creatures) thirst for blood was high in those days since many sightings & reports of farm animal killings appeared in Puerto Rico and then the rest of Latin America. From there, myths were told of people being attacked by the chupacabras, so now it seems this thing is out there killing anything in its sight and drinking their blood. The Chupacabra became a household name amongst Latinos and I remember this so fondly as a child. I remember seeing many chupacabra merchandise in all the swap meets and remember the Spanish news talking about this bloodsucker often as if it were real. Even Unsolved Mysteries filmed a cheesy segment with a rubber suit and interviewed Puerto Rican citizens who really tried hard to be convincing that this thing was real. Us latinos are superstitious as hell and really want to believe in weird shit that’s clearly gonna be fucking fake, but you never know... I guess.


 With all this talk of Chupacabras everywhere and seeing its image sold on goods; did anyone ever make actually make a movie about the Chupacabra? It seems there are plenty of movies about this bizarre creature made by US filmmakers, but nothing majorly done and most have very low ratings on IMDb. Did anyone in Latin America make a Chupacabra movie? Oh yeah, for sure. In Mexico there are 5 in existence to my knowledge and the 6th technically filmed in the US, was made by a Mexican filmmaker. These 6 movies are equally ridiculous & weird, maybe even considered bad to some. However, they are all equally entertaining in their own way since they all tell a different tale of the chupacabra myth.



 El Chupacabras (1996) 
Federal agents, a cop and a reporter are in search for cryptids in various parts of the Americas. They eventually group together in Mexico to find the chupacabra that has been lurking all over sucking goat’s blood & even humans!! Eventually, we find out there’s something much more to this blood-sucking creature! Gilberto De Anda’s El Chupacabras is without a doubt the most well-known chupacabra movie from Mexico. It is a sort of cult classic and definitely the easiest to acquire since there’s plentiful of DVD copies for sale online. While it’s not exactly what I expected it to be, it is still a fun movie to watch. Not to mention the movie has a cool cast and some cool cheesy as fuck special effects. Jorge Reynoso of course is a badass in the movie and Lina Santos gorgeous as hell even playing a reporter.


 Ahi Viene El Chupacabras (1996) 
Alfonso Zayas plays a creature from another world who lands on earth. He thirsts for goat blood (of course), but has no luck finding more of it since he leaves the farm areas and ends up in the big city. He then becomes acquainted with a drunken bum (Cesar Bono) and ends up drinking human blood via a nun. Wonderful. Nobody asked for an Alfonso Zayas movie where he plays a chupacabra, but director/writer Jorge Araujo came up with the perfect idea for that and while it didn’t actually become a huge sensation or anything, it’s still a very intriguing movie with a combination of the famous sex comedy actor & notorious chupacabra myth. I was also fond of Cesar Bono’s drunken character. He was probably really drunk in the movie.

Ataca El Chupacabra (1996) 
A town drunk is bitten by an escaped extraterrestrial that has landed on Earth and becomes a blood sucking maniac at night. He’s also fucking his female victims as well. 2 high-up martians come to Mexico in search of the escaped extraterrestrial and to blend in; they disguise as charros in the styles of Jorge Negrete & Pedro Infante. Seriously. I really enjoy Ataca El Chupacabras very much since it feels so simple and the sci-fi element to it is really corny but oh so fun. The opening scene with the cheesy spaceship and cheap costumes is so grand. A must watch.



 El Cuerno, El Ancho y El Sancho (1996) 
 I consider El Cuerno, El Ancho y El Sancho one of my rarest 90’s comedies in my collection and perhaps even one of my rarest Rene Cardona III movies since it’s virtually unknown & seems to be not listed anywhere and there’s no alternative title as well. The movie just seems to be buried very deeply into the ground, but my greedy hands had come across a copy by chance. This movie is all about a chupacabra & camotes. Well, sorta. In El Cuerno, El Ancho y El Sancho: a young dude makes ends meet by selling camotes in his small providence town and has zero luck getting with the ladies and is too broke to afford the hookers of the town. He then comes up with an idea to getting laid by dressing up as the infamous chupacabra to assault the women of the town. He succeeds doing this and while it’s morally wrong at what he’s doing; it seems the ladies are enjoying this “creature” ravaging them since they’re bored of the same ol’ dudes in town. No nudity is shown in this movie sadly even though it’s technically a sex comedy, but at least it features a really neat & cheap chupacabra costume. Some of the scenes shot at night with the chupacabra prowling makes me wonder if the movie was originally intended to be a horror movie of sorts, especially with the costume looking kinda creepy & all. Whatever the case, the movie features a cast of well-known comedian actors and La Chupitos first ever movie appearance. A peculiar movie for sure, but worth a look if found.


 Jorge Gomez’s El Final Del Chupacabras (199?)
 Jorge Gomez is one of the most interesting Mexican filmmakers ever. He’s based in East LA and has shot dozens & dozens of movies on tape during the mid 80’s to early 2000’s then later on with digital cameras. Around the late 90’s, Jorge Gomez had decided to cash in on the chupacabra fad by filming a movie called “El Final Del Chupacabras” and features his usual set of actors & settings around East LA. Jorge Gomez plays a cop assigned to investigate this so-called chupacabra that’s been seen all over town. Afterwards, Jorge deals with various narcos, cholos and his young niece involved with drugs. The chupacabra appears a couple times wandering around and steals money from a narco deal gone awry. It seems that a narco will run from this blood-thirsty creature rather than shoot it. And once again, this movie features a very cheap costume. Maybe from K-Mart?

 Many thanks to Jorge Gomez for fulfilling my request on uploading the movie on YouTube.

Please like & subscribe to his channel!


 Vuelve El Chupacabras: El Monaguillo Vs. El Chupacabras (1997)
  Out of these 6 chupacabra movies, Vuelve El Chupacabras is my favorite since it’s so out of the ordinary, ridiculous, stupid, cheap and so fucking fun. It’s a mindless movie for sure, but you will have lots of fun watching it! You also could not hate on that cheap costume & mask(s)! The plot is simple: A chupacabra has landed in Mexico from his planet “Chupelandia” and comes across various humans doing whatever humans do; such as make out, a certain President from that time involved in a shady deal, drinking booze, etc. I also have to note that this chupacabra is just a horny bastard and assaults women in their homes. To make the movie even more weird, the chupacabra goes head to head with a bootleg Teto: El Monaguillo played by Condorito. The El Monaguillo in this movie also converts to a superhero called “Super Condor” aka Soy Cabron. Incredible, right? Fuck Yes. The movie also ends with the chupacabra dancing around in a nightclub with scantily-clad ladies in colored wigs also dancing around.




 These 6 movie are insane for sure. I hope you will watch them and appreciate them for what they are. Still not convinced? Check out my video reel/mix I put together of the 6 movies along with some clips I found online. After you watch this, you will live & breath chupacabra weirdness like it’s the mid-90's. Enjoy! 



Sunday, November 17, 2019

Sergio Goyri's Thirst for Vengeance.

Sergio Goyri is a vampire. It seems like an odd thing to say, huh? Had anyone told me that a while back, I’m not sure what the hell people would've been talking about, but now that I have seen it with my own 2 eyes, I believe it. Fuck.


Symphony No. 11 in G Minor, The Year 1905: Eternal Memory plays as the opening credits roll & then we catch a glimpse of  a very spooky mansion at night where a vampire named Dracul (Sergio Goyri) shows off his fangs and is ready to attack an enemy of his! In the present time, a dying woman tells her son Luis of the time when his father had destroyed the vampire Dracul, but now she fears he will return and that Luis must destroy the “Cruz De Roble” in order for the vampire to never return from the dead again. After Luis’ mom passes away, He, his wife & their friends head out to his family’s old mansion and of course that is when things get terrifying & spooky! Dracul is resurrected by the help of his ghoulish partner “Igor” and goes around town killing people & drinking their blood. Dracul is back from the dead (again) and is thirsty for blood more than ever. Vengeance as well of course.



 Who would of thought a vampire movie with Sergio Goyri would thrill me so much. I mean then again, I do love me some vampires and as for Goyri... Uhhh... Well... Let’s not talk about him. Let’s just talk about Sed De Venganza (aka "Thirst for Vengeance")! What a movie! As simple as it is, it is a very entertaining movie for sure. It’s one of those movies you really have to watch at night because it’s mainly set at night and the only good way to watch a movie like that is when it’s nighttime of course. The movie is always dark, full of fog machines blowing all over, rubber bats flying around on strings and Sergio Goyri wears the perfect vampire costume. Fangs & cape & everything! Ahh! There’s also a “ghost” carriage as well which adds more of a spooky aesthetic. There’s also a big golden bat crest above where Dracul rests and it is incredibly fucking awesome.

 When you watch Sed De Venganza, it honestly feels like a movie that should of been made before the 1980’s and perhaps that was the intention. It was either a homage to the old horror movies or it’s just an old screenplay given life later on in the 80’s. The screenplay was written by Ramón Obon, Ramón is a legendary screenwriter who has written so many wonderful movies and a lot of his well-known ones are his horror movies, such as: Pánico, El Imperio De Dracula, Pacto Diabólico & Santo Contra Las Lobas. Ramón Obon it seems here was intending to make his own Dracula movie or perhaps even remake it (rip it off), but of course he changed it up so it makes sense to be set in present time Mexico. Can we call this movie one of the best Dracula rip-offs ever? Maybe not the best, but it's definitely a good one for sure. I also adore how they shortened the vampire's name to "Dracul". Kinda reminds me of my "name" after all. Wonderful. Creative (nah).


 Sed De Venganza is a fun as hell Dracula cheapie rip-off that was written by a legend. I’m ecstatic to add this to the permanent collection and look forward to watching it again & again & again. Dracul forever.